Great sex and a pizza or a house as clean as hospital room and a meal cooked from scratch?

Why do we women try to keep the house as clean as an Intensive Care Unit room (ICU)? Especially where kids are involved, this is a thankless, never ending task. I mean, how often do the guys or kids come home and say “Thank you so much, we love you more because the house is so clean? The guys don’t notice and frankly speaking, the kids don’t care and the mother-in-law will still complain about the speck of dust you missed. Let’s not forget that after a hard day with his butt firmly attached to a chair followed by what is considered a worthwhile dinner in a spotless house, Mister Right wants to relax on top of you for all of the five minutes, if you are lucky. For the unfortunate lady, she is the planned evening workout with a rigorous one hour sex marathon. And sadly, she is supposed to be all hot and bothered, asking for more and more and more. Oh Yes! More, that feels good baby!

The fact is, after a day spent cleaning the house to standards that would make Buckingham Palace envious, picking up toys, wiping shit from baby’s bottoms, washing dishes and ironing, the last thing on a woman’s mind is sex. She is not only physically exhausted but she is also mentally incapable of accommodating sexual thoughts i.e. after dealing with the runny noses, playing referee to the kids, potty training and having to deal with the distraught parent whose kid her kid beat up… All those things and more, tend to drain some of the energy resources required to have great sex. For the ladies, I would suggest general cleaning once a week and basic cleaning for the rest of the time.

Guys, get serious what is better, great sex with a willing partner or lousy nothing to write home about sex in ICU living quarters? When your expectations are above the human possibility comfort zone, the result is you fuck yourself because the truth is your partner is not taking part in your sexual activities, and please don’t fool yourself that “my wife always has an orgasm”, “She is always willing”. Let me enlighten you, that orgasm is a fake!  You hear me? It is a fake meant to hurry you along so that she can hit the pillow and get a goodnight’s rest and the only thing keeping her from telling you “get the fuck off me” is her polite upbringing combined with loyalty  to her marriage vows affection having becoming a thing of the past.

My advice is to get off your high horse, drop the housework standard, give the kids to grandma for an evening, order a pizza and have the fuck of your life.

Trust me and I am speaking from experience, changing diapers is not an aphrodisiac, and at the risk of self-repetition washing dishes is not an aphrodisiac either.

Seduction is the key, a glass of wine, candles maybe some music etc. can go a long way to get that sexy mood going. Techno and House music is not what I had in mind when I said music, unless you are on drugs of course.

As for me, I am taking my chances where I can. Grandma is in the park with my kid and I just ordered pizza for me and my husband. Guess what I prepared for dessert?