My birthday is coming soon and I am looking forward to it. Another year brings more knowledge and maturity. What do I want for my Birthday? Truthfully, this year I have no idea. Perhaps life has been good to me in as I do not have a long list of wishes. But I do have some advice.
I have often heard of couples having a screaming march because one or the other has forgotten a birthday or an anniversary. But why do people make such a big deal out of it. Why does “Sorry I forgot” translate into “I do not care or I do not love you enough”. In relationships should we not allow for human error? Or are we just egoist?
Yes, I get it that we all want someone to remember our birthday and I for one want my partner to remember my birthday and guess what, in 22 years that we have been together he has never forgotten my birthday. So, does he love me more than your partner loves you? I doubt it.
The simple truth is he has more chance of flying to the moon than he has of forgetting my birthday and not because his ex-wife has the same birthday and neither do I have my birth date tattooed on his forehead.
I simply remind him. It is important for me that he remembers, so, I make sure he does. I remind him a month before, a week before and a day before. And guess what, if he still does not remember, I ask for a birthday kiss on the morning of my birthday. I leave no stone unturned.
“Honey my birthday is next month, do you think we should do something?”
“My birthday is next week, do I need to arrange a baby sitter or maybe we can have a special dinner with our daughter at home”
“What a lovely morning, where is my birthday kiss?”
The point is, it is better to remind him or her, than to wait for the inevitable screaming march, bad mood or whatever when you discover there is no surprise birthday party. Some arguments are avoidable and I find that it is in my best interest to keep harmony in my home. Your partner is not you and that means that he/she might be going through shit that you know nothing about or it can be a more simple explanation, he/she simply forgot. Why is that a crime? If he/ she forgot, then why not pick a date and celebrate on that day? We are adults and birthday celebrations should not define our relationships. I mean, if you have had wonderful times with your partner for some months or years, why blow it because of ONE DAY?
Is that so difficult? If my partner chose to ignore my not so subtle hints, even after all my efforts, I would let it slide and accord him the same courtesy on his birthday. Revenge is a dish best served cold.